Just Jessie: Fawk You Friday

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FAWK YOU dear husband of mine! I'm cooking your supper and cleaning house at the same time and you have the nerve to tell me to do the dishes while I'm at it. Dude?! Did you really just ask me to throw a punch to your ball-bag and drop you like it's hot? When I've worked all day, took the dog to the dog park, took you to the shop to check on your car, come home and cook you dinner and clean the house DO NOT tell me to do something else. Get your ass in the kitchen and do it yourself. Don't make me chop off that lovely winkie of yours and let the dog play with it, CAUSE I WILL! Your so not getting laid tonight buster.

FAWK YOU nosey neighbor! You're the nosiest person I know. I get it. But do you really find it necessary to let me know whenever my dog has an eye-booger that needs to be wiped? An eye-booger. Really?! IT'S JUST A FAWKING EYE-BOOGER!!! I don't need your random email, a knock on the door or a damned phone call. Geesh!

(A picture of my Ruby for your enjoyment.)

FAWK YOU insurance company! To make a long story short my husband and I have issues when it comes to having babies. Basically, it's just not happening. So we are seeking professional help and I'll be damned if my insurance threw up the bird and said a double "Fawk You" to me. They refuse to help pay for any of it. This Friday I'm having an HSG done and Wednesday & Thursday we are doing our 4th round of in-vetro. Do you know how much this costs? I could have feed a small third world country for all the money I'm blowing out of my ass. So again, FAWK YOU insurance company. You could at least throw a sister a bone. Damn.

FAWK YOU non-driving idiots! Stop signs and red lights are in place for a reason. Running them will cause you to crash into me. And if you crash into me I will jump out of my car and beat the fawk out of you. Don't try me!

FAWK YOU furlough day! Although I do quite enjoy being off work on a weekday (especially a Friday) I lose a days worth of pay and THAT SUCKS! I have bills bitches!

Last but definately not least...

FAWK YOU girly bits! I'm trying to have a baby here. The last thing I need is you fawking up on me and causing me issues. Get it together or get out.

That's all for this Friday folks. Have a fawking awesome weekend.